Pissy Situations
by ita-chan01
Summary: ...Chaos ensues!


**Pissy Situations **

**Disclaimer: I own ZIPP, NADDA, ZILCH!**

Urine Analysis and Inoculation, those are the two words dreaded by all. Especially if you have something to hide or, if you're shy. Fortunately no one on the Taskforce 141 had anything to hide but, they are shy but that didn't mean that they could get out of it.

"Well this sucks," Meat muttered loud enough for everyone to hear. He was the first to try and break the awkward silence that filled the hallway where all the members of the Taskforce were lined up, awaiting their turn.

"Yeah, no shit Sherlock," Ghost grumbled angrily. Obviously he wasn't happy about having to be watched take a piss in a cup, and it also didn't help that he was afraid of needles.

"Next," an angry looking old man called from the bathroom. Ozone groaned he was the next person in line.

"What, you think I enjoy my job," the old man growled and slammed the door shut behind him. Silence filled the room again, but this time it was roach who spoke up.

"Why do we have to do this again? I mean I get inoculations, but Urine Analysis, really." He complained.

"Cause, it's mandatory," Ghost quoted with his fingers.

"Where on earth do they think we're going to get drugs way out here in the middle of nowhere," Meat muttered.

"Where do they think we are going to get the time to do drugs," Ghost said half sarcastically, half serious. A series of nods went down the long line of men. Seconds later Ozone walked out rubbing his back end, he winced.

"Good luck, he groaned to Meat, and shuffled elsewhere. Meat swallowed hard and took a step forward and pushed the door open. The old man stood in front of a metal cart flicking a syringe with a very long needle.

For a second there Meat thought that he smiled evilly but he just shook it off as the funky bathroom lighting. The man handed Meat an Alcohol swab and a cup.

"You know what to do," he said glaring at Meat as he took them. Suddenly Meat felt the overwhelming need to be a smartass.

"So, uh…would you like to hold the cup for me," he said smiling. The men on the other side of the door waited impatiently wanting to get it over with.

"AGH, FUCK," Meat screamed from the other side of the door.

Every man flinched as he walked out of the bathroom. A look of pain plastered on his face as he slowly walked away funny rubbing his butt anxiety quickly set in.

**Another Bathroom in the Base**

Captain Mactavish looked up from the ground that he had been staring at as an earsplitting scream pierced the air. He was glad that he decided to go with the other Urine Analysis guy.

"Okay I'm ready," a man shouted joyfully from the bathroom before opening the door for the first in line, which happened to be the Captain.

"A bit flamboyant eh mate," Price chuckled into Mactavish's ear as he walked forward.

"Hello there, I'm Ricky, and you are," Ricky said too the Captain and reached his hand out to be shook. Mactavish looked at the hand as if it were evil, or diseased.

"Oh its okay, I don't bite," he giggled.

"Uh…John Mactavish," he said with his eyes squinted and a slightly freaked out expression on his face.

"Well, I'll need you to take this swab and clean the end of your genitals. Then aim for the cup, and shoot," the freaky man said handing him the items. Mactavish took them without a word and unzipped his pants.

"Mmmhmm," Ricky shuttered, the Captain realized that the freakish urine guy was staring at his junk. After he finished with the cleaning, he did his business and zipped up his pants. He was just about to get the hell out of there when he was stopped.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, big fella, you're not done here yet," he announced and motioned to the syringe on the table.

"_Shit," _the Captain thought, not wanting to spend another minute around this fag. He picked up a pair of latex gloves and pulled them on with an exaggerated "snap". The Captain swallowed nervously.

"Okay honey, I'm going to need you to drop your drawers," he said excitedly.

"Nuh, uh" Mactavish said raising his voice, drawing the line at the word "honey". He walked out deciding to take his chance with the other Piss Guy, and he was sure to warn everyone else to do the same.

All in all, the whole Taskforce couldn't sit right for a week, and also had a new found fear of needles.

**XD That was fun ha-ha. Review my lovelies. **


End file.
